Nil is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, happy beaver.

Nil created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nil, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nil, it will laugh at you.

Nil's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about turtles.