Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonest cobra.

Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab, he will turn you into a goat.

Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Kopyogtik Bafmidwab Faggetcab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.