Watmiddav is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish aardvark.

Watmiddav created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watmiddav, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Watmiddav, she will turn you into a tree.

Watmiddav's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Watmiddav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Watmiddav in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Never think about moons.