Soghunmutyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, annoying newt.

Soghunmutyatt created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Soghunmutyatt, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Soghunmutyatt, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Soghunmutyatt's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Soghunmutyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Soghunmutyatt's name in vain.

2. Hide from cyan foxes for they are unholy.

3. Never feed bread to swans while wearing pink tights.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not chop down trees.