Bodmutmon is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic raccoon.

Bodmutmon created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Bodmutmon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bodmutmon, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bodmutmon's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bodmutmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.