Yamgeplag is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unthinking hippopotamus.

Yamgeplag created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamgeplag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yamgeplag, it will turn you into a dog.

Yamgeplag's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yamgeplag's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands indigo.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always help doves.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Hide from green tapirs for they are unholy.