Pittettineg is a god.

He takes the form of a large, benevolent swan.

Pittettineg created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pittettineg, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pittettineg, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pittettineg's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Pittettineg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pittettineg eight times a day.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Pittettineg on top of all buildings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Pittettineg's priests.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.