Vabtityarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless mink.

Vabtityarp created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabtityarp, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabtityarp, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vabtityarp's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Vabtityarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help eagles.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.