Jabtigfon is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fussy dog.

Jabtigfon created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabtigfon, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jabtigfon, she will turn you into a mouse.

Jabtigfon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jabtigfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Hide from gray sharks for they are unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

5. Respect your elders.