Zimzobvol is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, amazing raccoon.

Zimzobvol created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Zimzobvol, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zimzobvol, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zimzobvol's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zimzobvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to music.