Govxemlak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy snail.

Govxemlak created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govxemlak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Govxemlak, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Govxemlak's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Govxemlak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Do not make images of living things.