Funnadrap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow gerbil.

Funnadrap created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funnadrap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funnadrap, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Funnadrap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Funnadrap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funnadrap.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not stand on grass.