Xemkenhim is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-confident hedgehog.

Xemkenhim created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemkenhim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xemkenhim, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Xemkenhim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Xemkenhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Do not keep three frogs in a large pit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.