Vadbarnbap is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable faun.

Vadbarnbap created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Vadbarnbap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vadbarnbap, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vadbarnbap's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vadbarnbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to dogs while wearing magenta kilts.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near doves while wearing red hats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.