Xucbegnur is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, emotional warg.

Xucbegnur created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucbegnur, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xucbegnur, she will turn you into a tree.

Xucbegnur's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Xucbegnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xucbegnur's name in vain.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Run away if eight dogs approach from the north.

5. Do not cook food in pots.