Lenstaffub is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic guinea pig.

Lenstaffub created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Lenstaffub, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lenstaffub, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lenstaffub's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Lenstaffub's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not hurt birds.

3. Worship no other gods but Lenstaffub.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never pour water over plants.