Sandjonfat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring dragon.

Sandjonfat created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandjonfat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sandjonfat, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sandjonfat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sandjonfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing blue shorts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your hands.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandjonfat.