Tikcathit is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, intelligent manatee.

Tikcathit created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikcathit, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tikcathit, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tikcathit's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tikcathit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tikcathit on top of all buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.