Wanhig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless gerbil.

Wanhig created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Wanhig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wanhig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Wanhig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Wanhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Wanhig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always stare at clouds.