Bidsancuss is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish fish.

Bidsancuss created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Bidsancuss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bidsancuss, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bidsancuss' most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bidsancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bidsancuss.

2. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing purple rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your head.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bidsancuss.

4. Bidsancuss loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not chop down trees.