Mutquartbon is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, fussy lobster.

Mutquartbon created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutquartbon, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mutquartbon, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Mutquartbon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Mutquartbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never wear shoes.