Dubkadarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, uncaring dove.

Dubkadarn created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubkadarn, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dubkadarn, he will turn you into a slug.

Dubkadarn's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dubkadarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Do not keep eight ants in a large pit.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Never think about spacetime near rats while wearing yellow hats and balancing three silver spheres on your feet.