Larngomlan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing turtle.

Larngomlan created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larngomlan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larngomlan, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Larngomlan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Larngomlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think ill of sick geese.

5. Do not keep four gulls in a large pit.