Wonbedtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate crab.

Wonbedtonk created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonbedtonk, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wonbedtonk, he will manifest in front of you.

Wonbedtonk's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Wonbedtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Hide from purple nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wonbedtonk.

5. Always help sick sharks.