Bonkxuckom is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sage capybara.

Bonkxuckom created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkxuckom, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonkxuckom, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bonkxuckom's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bonkxuckom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four grasshopers approach from the east.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkxuckom.

5. Never pour water over plants.