Matdussjip is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud turtle.

Matdussjip created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matdussjip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Matdussjip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Matdussjip's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Matdussjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about whales.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never wear ear rings.
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