Flabtardograk is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, stupid monkey.

Flabtardograk created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabtardograk, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flabtardograk, she will turn you into a frog.

Flabtardograk's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Flabtardograk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.