Figlopsand is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing pigeon.

Figlopsand created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figlopsand, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Figlopsand, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Figlopsand's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Figlopsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Figlopsand.

5. Never pour water over plants.