Stipcintun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy chinchilla.

Stipcintun created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipcintun, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stipcintun, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stipcintun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Stipcintun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never pour water over plants.