Logcetvab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous crane.

Logcetvab created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Logcetvab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Logcetvab, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Logcetvab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Logcetvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

5. Never eat tomatoes.