Barnfettik is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, emotional lion.

Barnfettik created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Barnfettik, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Barnfettik, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Barnfettik's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Barnfettik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near doves while wearing fawn shoes.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Never mention monkeys.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.