Artnurfot Arpzanmab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, moody bear.

Artnurfot Arpzanmab created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Artnurfot Arpzanmab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Artnurfot Arpzanmab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Artnurfot Arpzanmab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Artnurfot Arpzanmab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.