Nutnakwatligappnib is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart jackal.

Nutnakwatligappnib created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutnakwatligappnib, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nutnakwatligappnib, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nutnakwatligappnib's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Nutnakwatligappnib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.