Wegstiphit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, sage walrus.

Wegstiphit created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegstiphit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wegstiphit, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wegstiphit's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Wegstiphit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.