Stipwittonk is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, tranquil lobster.

Stipwittonk created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipwittonk, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stipwittonk, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Stipwittonk's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Stipwittonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not keep six mites in a large pit.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Do not hurt doves.

5. Do not shave your hands.