Futbitbatstipliklansogab is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, idiotic grasshopper.

Futbitbatstipliklansogab created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futbitbatstipliklansogab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Futbitbatstipliklansogab, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Futbitbatstipliklansogab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Futbitbatstipliklansogab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. You must pray to Futbitbatstipliklansogab eight times a day.

3. Hide from orange pigs for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.