Dadvolbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing fly.

Dadvolbif created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadvolbif, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dadvolbif, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dadvolbif's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dadvolbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing fawn boots and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your neck.