Barnhenveen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, vain meerkat.

Barnhenveen created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnhenveen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnhenveen, it will turn you into a frog.

Barnhenveen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Barnhenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not take Barnhenveen's name in vain.