Bopkarxin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil jackal.

Bopkarxin created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopkarxin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bopkarxin, it will ignore you.

Bopkarxin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bopkarxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick bats.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Always obey Bopkarxin's priests.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never look at stars.