Gigtapflowzigwot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-knowing wombat.

Gigtapflowzigwot created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gigtapflowzigwot, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gigtapflowzigwot, it will destroy your home planet.

Gigtapflowzigwot's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gigtapflowzigwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Never jump near hamsters.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never mention turtles.