Neggidkimhon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing manatee.

Neggidkimhon created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Neggidkimhon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Neggidkimhon, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Neggidkimhon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Neggidkimhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention rats.

2. Neggidkimhon loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always wear pink.