Bifkikcub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, slow skunk.

Bifkikcub created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Bifkikcub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bifkikcub, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bifkikcub's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Bifkikcub's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bifkikcub.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. You must love Bifkikcub.

5. Never wear purple scarves.