Xucdumcap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, boastful faun.

Xucdumcap created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Xucdumcap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Xucdumcap, she will boil you in a big pot.

Xucdumcap's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Xucdumcap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never mention voles.