Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, capable chinchilla.

Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud, he will send you a sign.

Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven silver sculptures of Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud on top of important buildings.

2. Run away from red mites, for they are unholy.

3. Hasvadkad Flowsigmighud Pibjoncud must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.