Yattbosshap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, generous seal.

Yattbosshap created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattbosshap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattbosshap, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yattbosshap's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Yattbosshap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Always help sick grasshopers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. You must love Yattbosshap.