Pigyarlquat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, conceited cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pigyarlquat created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigyarlquat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pigyarlquat, he will turn you into a mole.

Pigyarlquat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Pigyarlquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Never feed oranges to moths while wearing orange shoes.

5. Always wear fawn.