Laggudlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a small, pitiless dugong.

Laggudlarg created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laggudlarg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Laggudlarg, he will cry a lot.

Laggudlarg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Laggudlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Laggudlarg's name in vain.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.