Fabfarnstip is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-knowing whale.

Fabfarnstip created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabfarnstip, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fabfarnstip, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Fabfarnstip's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fabfarnstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt hamsters.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Hide if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.