Nanpigarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ruthless beaver.

Nanpigarp created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nanpigarp, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nanpigarp, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nanpigarp's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nanpigarp's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Nanpigarp in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about fire.