Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, compassionate cow.

Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to mites while wearing gray skirts.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the west.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Canpangsigbutbusbetkinyim in the centre of the settlement.